I Broke a Plate

This weekend

Emma and I parked our cabooses in the back of Alice’s car to head to The Blarney Castle. I didn’t know that much going into the trip other than there is a stone you're supposed to kiss for good luck or something? And to be even more honest with you, I didn’t learn a ton about the place while I was there. But the weather was phenomenal and the grounds of Blarney castle were an absolute site. It is essentially an outdoor museum/forest preserve with some really old buildings scattered throughout, the most iconic being the Blarney Castle. At the top of the castle there is a section of stone that legend says, when you kiss it, it will give you the ‘gift of the gab.’ So it really has nothing to do with luck and I guess just makes you good at public speaking, so I guess my Communication degree was a total waste. To kiss it, you must lay down on the ground while a worker intimately holds your waist as you bend backwards over a crevice to a ~50 foot drop. It was weird. It was spooky. It was fun. Emma cried a little. Alice and I were very brave. After Emma wiped away her dramatic, attention-seeking tears, the three of us were chatty Cathys all the way home.

Monday

There are three main kitchens for our morning cooking, which accommodate almost all the students. Every week, a handful of students use the space where the afternoon demonstration is conducted. This area is more isolated: just you, five other students and your instructor. With so few classmates around, there’s an eerie silence and more pressure to do well. Our teacher this week is Pam, the chef embodiment of the phrase “my way or the highway.” You may have been peeling potatoes your whole life, but if it isn’t how Pam wants them peeled, get the f out of here. While intense, she also has a heart of gold and can joke around with the best of them. Today I made a Thai chicken curry with rice. Pam said I did a great job then immediately told me to clean up and leave the kitchen. 3 minutes later she was cranky that I was still there cleaning.

Tuesday

There is pressure to get done with your morning cooking on time to serve for lunch, coupled with the pressure to get the most out of the course that you can. Today I don’t think I pushed myself enough. I made a saffron poached pear and an Indian fried vegetable starter dish called Pakora. So much of this course is time management and finding where you can squeeze in time to try a new technique, but today I kind of laxed which did not feel great.

But in the evening, I really pushed myself to the edge. We had our final testing day for our menu we’re making for the pop-up restaurant that is happening next Thursday. I knew we had a lot to get done in a small amount of time. We had to finalize platings and present all of our dishes to our head teacher for approval. After a long night, we got it all done. My friend Sim, the head vegetarian Chef, almost had a panic about a critique we got, but I talked him off the ledge, told him this is a pretend restaurant and none of it really matters. Then I slogged on home and immediately went to bed at a ripe 9:30pm

Wednesday

Part of the journey I am taking is self discovery: figuring out what I like to do and what I want to do. Since it’s rainy today and I don’t have a ton on my agenda, let’s explore some goals. As I’ve written about, I have discovered the joy of baking. I love the beauty of it. The patience it requires and the products it yields. There isn’t a lot of room for error and everything has to be exact. It unlocks a certain mindfulness that I don’t get as much of when I am cooking. I would like to explore this more and work in a bakery when I get back home. Private cheffing and dinner parties sound very fun to me as well. We have also been learning about menu creation and ideation, which I find fascinating. Highlighting what’s seasonal while offering variety is a fun puzzle to crack. Also purely from a ‘making money’ standpoint it seems rad.

Oh also, J Crew, the clothing brand, was here today doing a catalog shoot in one of the kitchens. They did a scone-making class, except none of them wanted to keep the scones they made, so we took home dozens of pastries made by J Crew models. They were fine.

Thursday

In our grade books we have a ‘technique sheet’ filled with different competencies the school wants to instill in us. As we are in the back half of the course now, and there is a bit more pressure to get these skills covered. We are 8 weeks in and I am a little over halfway through all my techniques. Not a terrible place to be, but I wanna make sure I am knocking out more and more each day. Today I tackled the white yeast bread technique in addition to my other cooks. The process is pretty simple but requires a lot of waiting around. I got to the kitchen a full hour early to get started on the dough. Once your dough is made, knead for about 10 minutes, and then let proof until doubled in size, which can take an hour. Then, once you shape your risen dough into loaves or rolls, it must rise until it is doubled in size a second time. So time is of the essence. Once I informed Pam of my bread plans, she told me that I am actually going to make a garlic parsley butter to drizzle over top. Fifteen seconds later: “why don’t you have the ingredients for the garlic parsley butter ready?” Later she barked at me when I nearly opened the oven without her supervision. The bread seemingly became make or break on Pam's day. While the challenge was welcome, the pressure was intense. Still, she was right to force me to make the addition. The bread was phenomenal.

Friday

Today I had a very culinary school panic episode. Someone moved my puff pastry in the refrigerator and I could not find it for a full twenty minutes. I don’t fluster too easily, but I was ready to go to war. Eventually one of my charming instructors, Richard, found it for me and lovingly called me a “feckin eejit.” The people are so warm here. Later, I broke a plate. Pam informed me that it was no big deal and the important thing was that nobody was hurt. She did continue to remind me that it was a 50 euro piece of pottery that was broken and made sure to let everyone who walked by know my faux pas. “Everyone watch out for my favorite plate that Matt broke in the box near the bin.”

After my day of destruction, we discovered that it was karaoke night at the Blackbird pub. A perfect way to let off some steam after a challenging and productive week. I brought the house down with my rendition of “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce. This was however completely outdone with a moving performance of “Hips Don’t Lie” featuring Natalie Cataldo, Emma Roache and Natalie Cataldo’s hips. See you next week!