American Laundry

Our first proper Saturday was jam packed. We piled in the car to get some little items at the grocery store. While we were in town, we dropped by the farmers market. Later we joined up with some friends at the Blackbird pub in Ballycotton, a fake-sounding town. Sat through my first Rugby match and I’ll say it was a damn treat. The sport makes American football look like a true stroll in the park. If you have never had the hilarious joy of watching rugby, here is a brief synopsis of a match:
10-ish neanderthal-looking men approach the field as a chunky-looking American football is placed in the middle. From there the game is fairly similar to American football, with two key differences. 1) there is very little stopping of the clock, so they are constantly moving, and 2) no suits of armor. The brain damage looks severe. In talking with my friend Alice, the level of concussion in this sport is concerning. But what joy it is to watch grown men elbow each other's necks on the pitch. 🙂

As the night at the pub progressed, I remembered I hate being hungover, so I stopped drinking. But everyone else? Everyone else was PISSED (in the Irish sense of the word, meaning “drunk as dicks”). It was all in good fun but I was fully overstimulated by the end of the night and ready for the relaxing Sunday ahead full of doing absolutely nothing.

Sunday:
Did absolutely nothing.

Monday:

Each week we have a new teacher- this week it is Debbie. A no-nonsense lady with a heart of gold. She wears her two braids with ferocity and will make you regret not garnishing your plate properly. She’s phenomenal. I had to make shortcrust pastry again today and I f-ed it up on the first go… again. My first Quiche Lorraine pastry crust was haunting me from beyond the grave. But have no fear- I was again very brave and remade the dough under Debbie’s watchful eye and had great success. Teacher then told me I had great time management skills from the way I moved through the kitchen, to the way I could remake my pastry crust with ease and efficiency. She told me that I am going to “thrive” in this course which warmed my frigid heart. Afternoon was spent checking on the wine we started last week by removing the skins and seeds from the juice, and later enjoying a light dinner with some new friends down by the shore.

Tuesday:
Omelettes will haunt my dreams this evening… but that is okay. I made 7 omelettes today in pursuit of the perfect one. Should be noted that if you are concerned about egg waste, there are 650 egg laying free range hens on the farm so eggs are plentiful (also “free range” doesn’t just mean “free to range in a 1 meter by 1 meter pen”. A hen walked into our classroom the other day).  I began to get stressed as my omelettes kept on being junk. Attempt one, I forgot to butter the pan. Attempt two, I waited too long. Attempt three, I forgot to season. I could see some of my other classmates buckling under the pressure of omelette day as well. Then I remembered how I paid this school the king’s ransom for the right to screw up in front of them until I get it right. Which brings me to my big announcement- by attempt seven, I have mastered the omelette. Perfect color, flawless form, solid seasoning.

Wednesday 

Today, a love letter to American laundry machines:

Dear American Laundry machines,

I miss you so much. European laundry machines are so complex and I’m so simple. They are also terrible at drying. I miss you.

Sincerely, my clothes will never be dry.

Thursday

Today was feral. In the A.M. I made a cake that got the highest possible marks which almost made me cry. It was a Victoria Sponge* cake with a raspberry jam filling. I garnished the cake with some mint leaves and adorned her with some wildflowers to make the dish sing. I was very proud of my girl. I knew my cake was pretty good but Queen Debbie was giving me some shifty eyes while I was plating. I also forgot to put a garnish on my cake at first and got a very curt and well deserved “no garnish?” from Deb. Several beads of sweat later, Teacher called my cake “absolutely class” and gave it the “1” which is the best mark to get. My gut reaction was shouting “really?!” which in retrospect should’ve really been an inside thought..

In the afternoon, things changed drastically. As a last minute elective, our lead instructor offered to show us how to de-feather a duck following our afternoon lecture of the following day's recipes. I was exhausted from all the stress Miss Victoria Sponge put me under but I decided to power through and watch some duck defeathering. What was meant to be a 30 min mini-demonstration, turned into our teacher pulling out a knife and ripping into the duck to butcher it before our very eyes. Then I blacked out and found myself scooping the intestines of a dearly departed mallard’s limp body with my bare hands. Fun! 

Friday

Each pair of two students is given ~4 recipes to cook each day and you decide what you will cook amongst your partners. Today, I made a spicy aztec tortilla soup and Thai style chicken salad. For the first time I disagreed with my teacher’s critiques of my dish. Not to worry, it wasn’t our sweet Debbie. Teacher said my soup wasn’t salty enough while I personally thought it was plenty salty. The salad worked out alright but it wasn’t all that fun to make. I was very jealous of what the other half of the class got to cook. They got to do Victoria sponges with different icings and decorations while my cooks felt a little less special. At the end of the day, I appreciate the highs and lows and am happy with my week overall. I got the highest mark I achieved thus far. Debbie gave me a stellar review, seemingly on a personal level. And lastly, my omelette game has never been better. Merrily we roll along.

See you next week!
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*a plain cake in nature usually filled with jam and cream.